6/28/14 - Update....I'm Back!

It's been a long time since I've blogged. As some of you know, I suffered from a bit of depression after my radiation treatments. I always intended to blog about the good with the bad, but I wanted to get a bit of perspective before I wrote about the experience.

I think there are many reasons for the depression. When I got my BC diagnosis the first thing I thought about was my risk for infection. Because of my past experience, this is ALWAYS foremost on my mind. I didn't want to put my family and friends through the horrible nightmare we went through ten years ago. I focused all my attention on getting through treatment with minimal risk. Luckily, my doctors were on the same page. Each decision regarding treatment was mentally draining. There were so many choices to make it was overwhelming. I believe I was doing fairly well until it was time for radiation. That part of treatment was the most difficult for me. I was uncomfortable with the whole concept from the beginning, and as I did my daily treatments, that feeling just increased. For me, it was a mental marathon. I knew it was something I needed to do, but I always had that nagging voice in the back of my head that said, "run and don't look back!" I was so fortunate when it came to side effects.  My skin held up wonderfully - my doctors were amazed.  After my treatments were finished, my mental well being took a nose dive. I did a lot of research on depression after treatment, and I found it's a pretty common thing. You're so focused on getting through treatment it typically doesn't hit you till the end. Plus, with the added benefit of being thrust into menopause, it's not a great combination!

I'm doing so much better now. With the help and suggestions of some really wonderful women from an online support board, I'm slowly getting better mentally. Thank you to the great woman who helped me along the way. You all know who you are!! I will blog about some of the suggestions that helped me when I have a bit more time and concentration to put it all together.

I'm still in active treatment until September. I get Herceptin infused every three weeks. My one good vein is still holding up. I've developed a swollen node under my armpit on the cancer side, and I still have an unresolved swollen gland in the neck on that side as well. My oncologist will be taking a look at that on Tuesday when I get my infusion. I also have a call in to the BC coordinator because I've been getting swelling on the left side in my arm and hands. I can't tell if it's from my RA or if I'm developing lymphedema. My chances for lymphedema were supposed to be minimal without having the sentinal node biopsy. My RA is having a bit of a party throughout my body since chemo ended. My knees resemble the size of grapefruits. I had to reschedule my appointment with my rheumatologist and she couldn't get me in until the end of July. My hair is growing back slowly and VERY CURLY, and I've gained over 30 pounds. I now resemble a very large Jerry Seinfeld.

Robyn is moving back to Southern California in two weeks. I'm really excited about her coming back! I've posted a picture of Robyn from this past weekend. I've got a really cute video of my faux Grand Daughter's kindergarten graduation. I will post that as soon as I download it from my phone.

The Lovely Robyn

That is my update for now. I will take more hair pictures and add them to the rest when I get a chance. I also have to update my chemo side effect post. I've developed a few more side effects that I need to add to the list. To quote a very wise woman and friend, "Breast Cancer, the gift that keeps on giving!"

As always, thanks for checking on me!



  1. I am so happy! You wrote more! Geez, I am not a stalker! You just have a good way with words, and a more terrible sequence of events than ANYBODY I have met! I do hope you get the lumpies, bumpies and node AND which doctor stuff all sorted out soon.. keep up the good work.

  2. Thanks Kathe! That is so sweet of you.

    I hope I get it all worked out too!!